Archives for: June 2003
First contact with a tree
It's not the first time I have found myself sitting leaning against a tree, trying to find some sensation within myself of energy exchange with this tree. I never succeeded before, except a few times with the waves of water. But never with a tree so far, and I was pretty much disappointed in myself that for all my insight and knowledge, such a vital thing I could not do.
After speaking to someone at work yesterday, I was encouraged to try again. And today I took my newly found staff and walked with it for the first time, and went to a nearby park, not far from where I live, and a park with pretty old trees, water, and old walkways. Ever since childhood, I have always loved this park.
It was this park, where Myrrdin took me to try and feel the existance of a tree for the first time. Back then, I failed. It did nothing whatsoever to me.
After that, I tried again at other places, but never succeeded either.
Today I went back to the park. The weather was perfect: not hot sunny weather that would draw a mass of people to the park, but cloudy, and still warm enough to go out, and find alot of quiet places in the park. And so my path brought me back to the same tree, and I sat down on the ground, my back leaning against this tree.
A calm feeling gradually came over me, and I felt perfectly at ease. It was a feeling as if I could sit there for hours and get not bored at all. I simply did nothing, and closed my eyes. I did not try to find anything within, I waited for whatever was to come over me by itself. And it did. The same feelign I had some time ago with the waves, a sensation I feel welling up inside my stomach going up to my chest. I tried to concentrate on details of my experience, and I noticed that I felt as if the tree was adapting its form to let me sit comfortably, as if it was slightly hollow to have my back perfectly fit in, like a chair would be built. The wood was hard, so was the ground, but to me, it did not feel hard. It felt soft. The chair I sit in right now, does not feel softer.
And at that point, I gazed upwards to look at the leafs, and see what kind of tree it really was. And I saw only then, that this tree was of the same kind as the one I got my staff from (chestnut it's called in English, I believe), even though I found my staff at a very different park, curious, no?
What can I say about how I felt? Only that I felt a very beautiful inner peace, and I felt calm and at ease. I could be there for hours. Also, I found it easier to clear my mind and feel this sensation inside me.
The sensation had swept over me before, with the waves of a river, but this was a more calm sensation. Perhaps the sensation of a tree is a more calm one than that of the waves of a river or ocean. It was nothing "overwhelming", but simply something very enjoyable and peaceful, something very welcome. And this time, I had not needed to focus to feel the sensation, I did not have to go in a meditative state whatsoever, it came upon me just by being open to whatever experience might sweep over me.
To conclude, after this I planted my hand palm against the wood of the tree and told him I'd come back for him, and went over a nearby bridge to the other side of the river in the park, to sit at a place close to the water, and read the first lessons that Awenydd had given me to look at, and that I had printed out yesterday for this occassion, and spent a few hours sitting and reading.
