Dafydd's Blog
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See the pictures also at http://ambiorix.druidcircle.org/wales2003/

DAY 1 : AUGUST 4, 2003

After a long journey I arrive in the small train station of Ruabon. There, while waiting to be picked up, I am first of all greeted and welcomed by a cat. Unfortunately my allergies prevented me to greet her back. Then an elderly man walked by with his dog, and told me he does this walk every day. He had spoken to people on this place, from all over the world. I told him why I had come here, and he told me I would find no King Arthur here, it was all a myth. And as for the Knights of the Round Table, he found them most comparable with the Greek Gods.

Then my lift arrived and I was brought to Llangollen. Upon nearing the town, I could behold the hill ("bryn" in Welsh) on where I could see the remains of castle Dinas Bran.

When the next few days were more or less planned, thanks to the help of the people of the Bed & Breakfast, some visitors arrived, friends of theirs. Thanks to those visitors, I had almost been able to get in contact with the writer of the book "The Keys to Avalon", one of the books that inspires me most to write my own. Almost, because he happened to be out of the country.

A good start for my quest nevertheless.

DAY 2 : AUGUST 5, 2003

After visiting Old Oswestry hillfort in the morning (where legend says queen Guinevere lived with her father King Leodegrance, before she married King Arthur), I went to make my tour through the most important locations of the Vale of Avalon.

First there was Valle Crucis abbey, quite large and impressive. Then there was the pillar a bit further on, and then the long walk around. People are very helpful here, and one even gave me a lift with his motorcycle, saving me time and energy, toward castle Dinas Bran. Before that, I intended to visit some cairns and standing stones nearby, but they were on high, steep and rocky hills and there was no safe track toward it. So I climbed the large hill to find Dinas Bran, an impressive place. The ruins make me wonder what it must have looked like once as a full castle. The view from there stretched out far over the landscape, showing Llangollen village far below, and a number of hills all around. The ones who lived in this castle, could keep an eye on everything that happened in the valley below.

After descending from the hill, I went on a boat trip of 45 minutes on the Llangollen Canal, on a boat that was brought in motion by a horse. Upon the stop to change course backwards, the horse curiously came up to face me. The animal even tried to get as close without falling into the canal.

After returning to the village, buying some souvenirs and having dinner, I concluded my day.

DAY 3 : AUGUST 6, 2003

Today was, once again, a remarkable day. I was brought by car to the foot of a hill, from where my journey began. On the top of this hill, I was to find a stone circle. And quite a walk uphill it was! Regularly visited by white butterflies, and also any insect that buzzes, though I did not let it bother me, I went uphill through the fields of grazing sheep. I recall my own thoughts when soon the steep uphill path got me tired, and I told myself that the path of a Druid is not an easy one indeed. Be it spiritually, or physically. Today I felt it physically, and figured that Druids must either have lived up the hill, or else have strong legs and good physics! What a climb it was, but most worth it. Strangely enough, I could not see the stone circle itself, until the very last moment I walked right to it. As if it wants to stay hidden, except for those who already know it is there.

Once I beheld the first sight of the stones in the distance, I had a breathless moment. I had made it, I was right there. And there I stood, beholding the first stone circle I ever saw in my entire life. It was impressive, though the word dos not do it quite justice. My tiredness was soon gone and forgotten, and I began to make pictures from all corners. I beheld the landscape that surrounded me, distant hills that were hardly visible through a sudden mist (had I simply not noticed the mist before, or was it suddenly there?). I was alone on the Earth there. Me and the stone circle, and the sheep. It was peace I felt when I sat down on one of the rocks, and began counting and observing the stones. The stones did not speak to me, but it seems as if they left me a gift of energy I did not truly feel until now that I write it.

I went a bit downhill to see two cairns (burial places), both unfortunately in bad state, when I was no longer alone. Two people, a man and a woman, were just marvelling about finding the stone circle at last. As if it was the most normal thing to do, I went back uphill to greet them. Almost as if I welcomed to the stone circle, since the stones had no voice to tell them themselves. I just had to meet these people who were also willing to do this tiring long climb I did, to see this place. They were no ordinary people, oh no, and that did not take me long to find out. The woman stood in the middle of the circle, where the ground was a bit lower, and said that her feet began to feel really warm. It turned out they had visited quite a number of stone circles before. I showed them the two cairns, since they clearly didn’t know there were any there, and politely requested if I might join them on the way back down the hill. To this they gladly agreed, and I asked them on the way if they were into Druidism, which they said they were not, but I made it no secret that I am. They inquired what my Druid training was about, and I gave general answers such as balance and nature, leaving the details inside a veil of mystery, since mystery is a power of its own. I immediately felt I could trust these people, and I was right. They gave me a lift to a second stone circle, they were heading for anyway (and so was I), which was near a farmhouse. The farmer appeared not to be home, however, so we briefly trespassed his land to see the stone circle. The rocks were fewer, but larger, but this one did not contain the energy of the first one. Perhaps it was too close to the farm, and the inhabited world. They dropped me off at Corwen, where I left the branch I had used as walking staff, on the grass in front of a graveyard and church, and awaited my lift.

Later that evening, in the town of Llangollen, I saw them a second time. I gave them my name, email address and website, since they wanted to know when my book would come out so that they could buy it.

This day I had to conclude with a good meal, and will now be followed with a well-deserved rest.

DAY 5 : AUGUST 8, 2003

I specifically did not write anything yesterday, because I was mainly travelling from Llangollen to Caernarfon (and had a brief visit to Chester on the way), and once I arrived, I only went to explore the nearby town centre. I was too early to make up my mind yet, as I had to get rooted here first a little. Well, today I did and I have a more clear view of Llangollen VS Caernarfon.

The people of the Bed & Breakfast here are nice and friendly (as about every single Welshman I met) but they are not the kind of people who will be able to help me figuring out where to go, and how to get there. Indeed that is the difference between people living in a town, and people living in or near a village. Llangollen, since it is a village only, is more peaceful, and there is less distance between people. My location in Caernarfon, however, enables me to get about anywhere I want with public transport, which was practically impossible to do from Llangollen. I am much closer to the town centre here too, only a 5 minutes walk instead of a 20 minutes one. Quite a difference, I would say, if you need to make that walk in the evening, after dinner with a full stomach, and going uphill.

Either way, both have their advantages and disadvantages, and so far I have not been disadvantaged at either place, though I must say I feel more at home back in the hills of what must be the realm of Avalon.

But to come back to our present day in Caernarfon, I can tell quite a few things. After booking a ferry to visit Ireland on monday, I visited Caernarfon castle. It is a huge medieval castle, and very much intact. I did spend quite a few hours there. In one of the towers, was a small theatre for a 23 minutes movie on the history of the castle. But what interested me most there, was the beginning, where the speaker in the movie quoted the words of Merlin on the creation of the land of Wales, the dragon fights and the formation of the hills and mountains, before man ever set foot there. Interesting words, and very useful for my book! It went too fast to write it down at the very moment, so I went to ask if this movie was for sale on video. It was not, and neither did they have the text available. But they could tell me that it came from Geoffrey of Monmouth, of which I have a book at home. I will have to wait, then. But find this text, I will!

Next, I set out to a Roman museum, near the remains of a Roman fort. It was certainly interesting to see, but also interesting to talk to the man who worked in the museum. He believed that Druids come from outer space (from the region near the Black Sea? Naww, from Venus!), as time travellers. We still have the genes of these same time travellers, and through those genes we carry hidden memories. When we remember something of a past life, it may not necessary be a memory of a past life of our own, but perhaps that of our ancestors of long ages ago. Is it possible? I don’t know, but perhaps it is something to consider, as every theory deserves the right to be at least considered. He also claims that Anglesey is still the Isle of the Druids it once was. It is full of Druids, he said, but they wear clothes like every one else, so you would not likely recognise them.

As a conclusion, he told me he would sell my book right there in the museum, once it’s ready. It looks like once my book is published, I will have to travel to Wales once more to find customers more easily. Why not?

As a conclusion, he told me he would sell my book right there in the museum, once it’s ready. It looks like once my book is published, I will have to travel to Wales once more to find customers more easily. Why not?

DAY 6 : AUGUST 9, 2003

Today was not so much a day of discoveries, bur rather of experiences. Yes, a few, quite actually. Oh, and not to forget the trespassing. Let’s start with the beginning.

As I had thoroughly planned before, I took the bus to Bangor, and from there another bus to Anglesey, and to be more specific: Plas Newydd in the southern part of the isle. Once I got there, I found myself at an open-air theatre. Some play about Vikings, I believe. I would have loved to see it, but I didn’t know if time would allow me. I had no idea how much time I would need to find the places I intended to find.

The first on my list was a burial chamber, supposedly to be right behind the theatre’s domain, in a "public place" according my map. But according to the people of the theatre I could only get as close as the fence would let me, which was still pretty far.

But of course, I did not travel halfway Britain to see prehistoric Celtic places, to then be stopped by a simple fence! No, I did not climb the fence, but I was being nice and walked into the entrance road toward the domain. There was no fence or portal to stop me, only a "Strictly Private" sign, and that was easy to walk by and pretend I hadn’t seen it. In other words, I did get to touch the stones of this impressive dolmen, and when I calmly made my way out, I was even greeted by a passenger who walked in on the domain.

The second one, a chambered tomb, proved not to be so easy. I had to trespass deep into the domain of Plas Newydd farm, and ignore more than just one sign. I even had to make my! Way into the wild of the forests there (not that I didn’t enjoy that), and almost gave up on finding this chambered tomb, when it occurred to me that on the nearby field, was a small hill with three trees on top of it, of which one was dead. Finding a place where I could easily climb over the fences, I trespassed not only the farmer’s land and forest, but also his field. Apparently there were no grazing cows or sheep there at that moment. And indeed, a small stone chamber at the foot of the small hill could be found. It was not effectively barred (since I shouldn’t have been there in the first place) but getting inside would not have been a good idea. For one, it was too small, and there was a nest of bees inside I rather did not want to disturb.

Having that location resolved, I returned to where I entered the farm, to run into two men and a dog, who saw me coming out of a "private track". They were friendly, and presumed I was simply lost, and I acted as if I was making my way back to the main road and had just found my way back. Good enough, and I went on to the next location on the agenda: a passage tomb called Bryn Celli Ddu. That one was easy to find, as a track went straight to it. It was impressive indeed. A small hill, surrounded by a henge, and a chamber inside. Entrance to the chamber was barred, but the impression was there nevertheless. As I climbed the top of the small grove hill, and I sat down on the grass, a peace came over me. I did not want to leave this particular place, I felt connected here. It was unexpected, that this came onto me. I felt at least as good here, as at the first stone circle I visited. Perhaps I can compare the sensation with that of a tree’s connection, though not quite the same, but close enough. Eventually I moved on, searching for a nearby standing stone. I made pictures of what I thought this standing stone should be, and even now I’m still not sure. Having completed my list, and wearied my feet enough for the day, I made my way back to the bus station at Plas Newydd, and returned to Bangor. As it was still too early to go back, I decided to have a look at the centre of Bangor. As I walked there, through the main street with shops and all that, the feeling suddenly washed over me: I was home. The same feeling I had felt about three or four years ago, when I set first foot on British ground. I felt at home. I could live here and be happy, even if I knew no one there. Strange that it did not happen in Llangollen or Caernarfon (though Llangollen does have my affection) but in one of Wales’ bigger towns. I realised that I could take the bus there as simply as at home in Belgium, not having to worry if I took the right or wrong one, feeling completely confident as if I had done it all my life. I wished I had discovered this connection with Bangor sooner, and resolved to locate my Bed & Breakfast there next time I visit Wales. It was there also, that I found a few very useful books on the Arthurian legends, books that would tremendously help me on my novel.

And to conclude with one endnote for today: I decided to buy an extra bag, or I would never get all those books I bought here, back home!

DAY 7 : AUGUST 10, 2003

Today the weather did not look very promising when I woke up. In fact, it was typically British: rain. For a moment I feared I would have to cancel my plans for today’s visit to the hill Dinas Emrys (the hill where king Vortigern wanted to build his fortress, and at night it fell apart, until Merlin told him it was because of an underground pool under the hill, where one white and one red dragon fought each other at night). A bit later than planned, I did go anyway. It had stopped raining, but it was still very misty. The mist cleared too, by the time I arrived at my destination. The bus driver was so kind to drop me off where I was supposed to be. Turned out it was too far, and I had to walk 20 minutes back, but at least the intentions were good. I reached the hill of Dinas Emrys, but there was no track leading to it. No way to get near. For a moment I feared I had come for nothing, but I didn’t give up, and found this little sign that said Dinas Emrys could be accessed through the tracks of a nearby walking path of a restored nature domain. The maps provided at the entrance of this domain, once I got there, gave no indication of a track leading to the hill I intended to visit. So I took my chances and began to walk the track that went the closest to it. This track leaded me around the hill, allowing some nice views on it. But the hill was surrounded by fields with sheep and fences. Yet, I went on until the track had gone nearly all around the hill. Until I saw a sideway track, not displayed on the map, that I figured might bring me at least closer. As it is in the Snowdonia area, which exists of alot of hills and mountains, going uphill and downhill was normal for this track. This sideway track happened to lead uphill, and it kept doing so. On the way I saw some beautiful capricorns. At one point, I reached the top, and it was not until then that I noticed I was actually on top of Dinas Emrys! Somehow I had gotten there without realising it. The view on the surrounding hills, mountains and valley, and also a lake, was beautiful there. And thus, I had found my way to the top of Merlin’s hill. But if I thought Merlin would make it easy on me to descend from it again, I was wrong. The path had stopped on the top, and to go down on the other side meant guessing which way might be the safest, or in other words: less dangerous. Steep it was and without holding on to the rocks, and the branches of the trees, it would have been impossible. The rocks and sand was also still wet of the rain that morning, not making things any easier or safer. One step wrong, and I would fall into the depth. I did realise this, but I was not afraid. Every step was calculated, and it seemed as if I was totally used to such things. But at least, there had been no sign that said I couldn’t go here. Not that there was a sign that said I COULD go here. I warned myself not to lower my guard and keep alert with every step I took. And that is how I did get back safely to the foot of this hill. Then it was just a matter of crossing fields with sheep, crossing some small rivers with calculated steps on the stones, and climbing over a wall to get back to the "public area". Well, there isn’t more to be said. I walked on to the nearest town, had something to eat and drink, and took the bus back. I guess this was my last walk in the nature of Wales. At least for this vacation.

It's not the first time I have found myself sitting leaning against a tree, trying to find some sensation within myself of energy exchange with this tree. I never succeeded before, except a few times with the waves of water. But never with a tree so far, and I was pretty much disappointed in myself that for all my insight and knowledge, such a vital thing I could not do.
After speaking to someone at work yesterday, I was encouraged to try again. And today I took my newly found staff and walked with it for the first time, and went to a nearby park, not far from where I live, and a park with pretty old trees, water, and old walkways. Ever since childhood, I have always loved this park.
It was this park, where Myrrdin took me to try and feel the existance of a tree for the first time. Back then, I failed. It did nothing whatsoever to me.

After that, I tried again at other places, but never succeeded either.
Today I went back to the park. The weather was perfect: not hot sunny weather that would draw a mass of people to the park, but cloudy, and still warm enough to go out, and find alot of quiet places in the park. And so my path brought me back to the same tree, and I sat down on the ground, my back leaning against this tree.

A calm feeling gradually came over me, and I felt perfectly at ease. It was a feeling as if I could sit there for hours and get not bored at all. I simply did nothing, and closed my eyes. I did not try to find anything within, I waited for whatever was to come over me by itself. And it did. The same feelign I had some time ago with the waves, a sensation I feel welling up inside my stomach going up to my chest. I tried to concentrate on details of my experience, and I noticed that I felt as if the tree was adapting its form to let me sit comfortably, as if it was slightly hollow to have my back perfectly fit in, like a chair would be built. The wood was hard, so was the ground, but to me, it did not feel hard. It felt soft. The chair I sit in right now, does not feel softer.
And at that point, I gazed upwards to look at the leafs, and see what kind of tree it really was. And I saw only then, that this tree was of the same kind as the one I got my staff from (chestnut it's called in English, I believe), even though I found my staff at a very different park, curious, no?
What can I say about how I felt? Only that I felt a very beautiful inner peace, and I felt calm and at ease. I could be there for hours. Also, I found it easier to clear my mind and feel this sensation inside me.
The sensation had swept over me before, with the waves of a river, but this was a more calm sensation. Perhaps the sensation of a tree is a more calm one than that of the waves of a river or ocean. It was nothing "overwhelming", but simply something very enjoyable and peaceful, something very welcome. And this time, I had not needed to focus to feel the sensation, I did not have to go in a meditative state whatsoever, it came upon me just by being open to whatever experience might sweep over me.

To conclude, after this I planted my hand palm against the wood of the tree and told him I'd come back for him, and went over a nearby bridge to the other side of the river in the park, to sit at a place close to the water, and read the first lessons that Awenydd had given me to look at, and that I had printed out yesterday for this occassion, and spent a few hours sitting and reading.

I am David, a guy who lives and is born in Belgium. Half my family comes from Austria, until my grandparents on my father's side moved to Belgium (my grandfather was from Belgium).

Well, what can I tell about myself? I love music, writing and reading, and I don't just want to "spend" my life, but LIVE it, make some use of my time on this planet and achieve some goals. For years, I have been searching for my goals, what is it I really wanted to do with my life, what did I want to strive for?
It was in the very depths of darkness in my life when the answer came to me, and saved me in a way. Let me explain.
I will start with the beginning, my childhood. Being a not too easy child in my youth, things were not always easy. I'm not talking here about smoking, drinking, drugs... I always had the sence of what was wrong and what was right ever since I could talk. No, my problem was that I had my own personality and I didn't like that it was suppressed. But it still was so, and for many years I had a very bad contact with my mother (who was a Christian, though I am baptized Christian too). But my mother was not a stupid woman, and she realised that good contact with her son would be very important (also for reasons that are too much to explain but I can tell if anyone wants to know) and she searched for help at our neighbour, a woman a few years older than my mother, who is wise in many things and always seeked alternative ways. Throughout time, my mother was able to establish a good communication with me, and at last we understood one another. Unfortunately, it lasted not long, because a few years later, when I was 14, she died (I believe she was 43 when she died), and my first Master was gone, but I was left behind with the seed of something I could make myself grow strong with.
My neighbour then took care of me (not in the way of adopting me, because I lived with my father still, but in the spiritual way) and though none of us really realised it so, she was my second Master. During the years we developped a good friendship and I learned many things from her. In fact, she put me on the path to make me understand certain things: coincidence does not exist, reincarnation does exist, ...
During the years, I began to doubt everything in my life and that included the existance of any God. Eventually in some years I began to doubt Catholicism and Christianity, and turned against it, rejected it.
I had come to believe that God existed nowhere else but within ourselves, and I renamed God into our "Inner Force".
Years went on, I finished school, got some jobs, until I found a job in a store, where I worked together with a colleague who has his very own unique personality too. I have worked together with him for about 2 years, and afterwards I have come to consider him my third Master. Why? He showed me some other sides of life, the not so bright ones, and compared to the way I left that store the last day, the first day I ever came in there I was a "nerd" who would fall over when one blew at me. I began to use my "Inner Force", learned to stand up for myself rather than crawl away in fear. In that store I faced more than one death threath from customers (that was the kind of neighbourhood I worked in back then) and I was able to look my opponent straight in the eye, controlling my fear for the first time, and most of all: allowing myself to be who I am, and not let anyone take that from me.
I listened to this man in many things, knowing that in many things there was some wisdom in it, in his own way. A part of my personality had formed in those two years, that will stay with me for the rest of my life.
Besides that, he also introduced me to the movie "Braveheart", which was the first movie I actually saw on the medieval subject, the times of the swords. I was immediately impressed and carried away by this movie, and slowly the understanding came to me that for wisdom, one did not only need to look at the future and the present, but also at the past.
After two years, I took another job, at a University (which is where I still work today) and he left that job too, going his own way. One phase had ended, another one was about to begin.
It was in this time that I met a girl with whom I instantly fell in love, having a strong feeling that she is the one for me. A beautiful relation ship continued from it. Though there was once issue: being from Portuguese origin, she was raised very catholic, and I rejected every form of God or religion still.
That was when my fourth, and current Master arrived. You'll all know him too I suppose, he's known on this board as Myrrdin. Though I had known him for quite some time before already, also knowing his Celtic heritage and beliefs, it was not until now that I saw a new path, and new questions came to my mind, a new curiosity was aroused and all the answers I found on this path were finally the ones I had been looking for.
He had apparently understood that my interest in things Celtic was becoming very strong, he decided to make a travel from France to Belgium to meet me, and it was then I became his Apprentice. Excited as I was about new discoveries within myself, I could not stop talking about it to my girlfriend, who (as Christian) became frightened of this, feared to lose me if I were to become Druid, also included the Christian visions thinking Druids and Celts "pagans", and with other non-related complications, she suddenly walked out of my life without giving me one reason why (she did return months later, our relation ship was refreshed and lasted about 1,5 year longer, until the Gods decided my destiny was not with her). Devastated I was, I pictured myself standing on the highest top of a high bridge, ready to make my last jump into eternity. Long did I struggle with this darkness, not finding the strength to continue my life, many doubts filled my heart and I saw no challenge, no reason in my life.
And that was when Myrrdin told me the few words that saved my life: "You cannot end this life yet, there are some things you have to achieve first in this life. What, I cannot tell, but there are some tasks you must do first, before you can go."
These few words made sense to me, and gave sense back of living, of wanting to live.... I wanted to know what my tasks were, what I needed to achieve, why I was put on this planet, and for the first time since a long darkness, I saw a light again, the strength to go on and to endure the pain had come back to me, the will to grow and learn and understand new things became unexpectedly strong. It was the life force within me, my Inner Force, that had been called upon. It was at this time I consider myself to actually have become Apprentice, as if a force, a power that was beyond myself, allowed me a second chance to follow this path.

And for the first time, I was considering the existance of Gods again. I tried to turn to certain Gods for some simple matters, and found that every time, those things were granted. I tried to ask things of the God that were even most unlikely (nothing selfish, in fact it was an attempt to help other people, not myself) and saw again that it was granted.
Certain Gods have taken an important place in my life now, and I have a strong feeling that these gods do watch over me day and night, protecting me from many things.
Ever since I have followed the path of Druidism every day, without doubting my decision for one moment even, by the teachings Myrrdin gives me and of which I am very grateful, by movies (I was introduced for the first time to the whole King Arthur legend with movies such as Excalibur and Mists of Avalon), and books. Later on I also began a close study of Celtic history and searched for valuable websites about Celtic & Druidism.