Druid Blog

I am David, a guy who lives and is born in Belgium. Half my family comes from Austria, until my grandparents on my father's side moved to Belgium (my grandfather was from Belgium).

Well, what can I tell about myself? I love music, writing and reading, and I don't just want to "spend" my life, but LIVE it, make some use of my time on this planet and achieve some goals. For years, I have been searching for my goals, what is it I really wanted to do with my life, what did I want to strive for?
It was in the very depths of darkness in my life when the answer came to me, and saved me in a way. Let me explain.
I will start with the beginning, my childhood. Being a not too easy child in my youth, things were not always easy. I'm not talking here about smoking, drinking, drugs... I always had the sence of what was wrong and what was right ever since I could talk. No, my problem was that I had my own personality and I didn't like that it was suppressed. But it still was so, and for many years I had a very bad contact with my mother (who was a Christian, though I am baptized Christian too). But my mother was not a stupid woman, and she realised that good contact with her son would be very important (also for reasons that are too much to explain but I can tell if anyone wants to know) and she searched for help at our neighbour, a woman a few years older than my mother, who is wise in many things and always seeked alternative ways. Throughout time, my mother was able to establish a good communication with me, and at last we understood one another. Unfortunately, it lasted not long, because a few years later, when I was 14, she died (I believe she was 43 when she died), and my first Master was gone, but I was left behind with the seed of something I could make myself grow strong with.
My neighbour then took care of me (not in the way of adopting me, because I lived with my father still, but in the spiritual way) and though none of us really realised it so, she was my second Master. During the years we developped a good friendship and I learned many things from her. In fact, she put me on the path to make me understand certain things: coincidence does not exist, reincarnation does exist, ...
During the years, I began to doubt everything in my life and that included the existance of any God. Eventually in some years I began to doubt Catholicism and Christianity, and turned against it, rejected it.
I had come to believe that God existed nowhere else but within ourselves, and I renamed God into our "Inner Force".
Years went on, I finished school, got some jobs, until I found a job in a store, where I worked together with a colleague who has his very own unique personality too. I have worked together with him for about 2 years, and afterwards I have come to consider him my third Master. Why? He showed me some other sides of life, the not so bright ones, and compared to the way I left that store the last day, the first day I ever came in there I was a "nerd" who would fall over when one blew at me. I began to use my "Inner Force", learned to stand up for myself rather than crawl away in fear. In that store I faced more than one death threath from customers (that was the kind of neighbourhood I worked in back then) and I was able to look my opponent straight in the eye, controlling my fear for the first time, and most of all: allowing myself to be who I am, and not let anyone take that from me.
I listened to this man in many things, knowing that in many things there was some wisdom in it, in his own way. A part of my personality had formed in those two years, that will stay with me for the rest of my life.
Besides that, he also introduced me to the movie "Braveheart", which was the first movie I actually saw on the medieval subject, the times of the swords. I was immediately impressed and carried away by this movie, and slowly the understanding came to me that for wisdom, one did not only need to look at the future and the present, but also at the past.
After two years, I took another job, at a University (which is where I still work today) and he left that job too, going his own way. One phase had ended, another one was about to begin.
It was in this time that I met a girl with whom I instantly fell in love, having a strong feeling that she is the one for me. A beautiful relation ship continued from it. Though there was once issue: being from Portuguese origin, she was raised very catholic, and I rejected every form of God or religion still.
That was when my fourth, and current Master arrived. You'll all know him too I suppose, he's known on this board as Myrrdin. Though I had known him for quite some time before already, also knowing his Celtic heritage and beliefs, it was not until now that I saw a new path, and new questions came to my mind, a new curiosity was aroused and all the answers I found on this path were finally the ones I had been looking for.
He had apparently understood that my interest in things Celtic was becoming very strong, he decided to make a travel from France to Belgium to meet me, and it was then I became his Apprentice. Excited as I was about new discoveries within myself, I could not stop talking about it to my girlfriend, who (as Christian) became frightened of this, feared to lose me if I were to become Druid, also included the Christian visions thinking Druids and Celts "pagans", and with other non-related complications, she suddenly walked out of my life without giving me one reason why (she did return months later, our relation ship was refreshed and lasted about 1,5 year longer, until the Gods decided my destiny was not with her). Devastated I was, I pictured myself standing on the highest top of a high bridge, ready to make my last jump into eternity. Long did I struggle with this darkness, not finding the strength to continue my life, many doubts filled my heart and I saw no challenge, no reason in my life.
And that was when Myrrdin told me the few words that saved my life: "You cannot end this life yet, there are some things you have to achieve first in this life. What, I cannot tell, but there are some tasks you must do first, before you can go."
These few words made sense to me, and gave sense back of living, of wanting to live.... I wanted to know what my tasks were, what I needed to achieve, why I was put on this planet, and for the first time since a long darkness, I saw a light again, the strength to go on and to endure the pain had come back to me, the will to grow and learn and understand new things became unexpectedly strong. It was the life force within me, my Inner Force, that had been called upon. It was at this time I consider myself to actually have become Apprentice, as if a force, a power that was beyond myself, allowed me a second chance to follow this path.

And for the first time, I was considering the existance of Gods again. I tried to turn to certain Gods for some simple matters, and found that every time, those things were granted. I tried to ask things of the God that were even most unlikely (nothing selfish, in fact it was an attempt to help other people, not myself) and saw again that it was granted.
Certain Gods have taken an important place in my life now, and I have a strong feeling that these gods do watch over me day and night, protecting me from many things.
Ever since I have followed the path of Druidism every day, without doubting my decision for one moment even, by the teachings Myrrdin gives me and of which I am very grateful, by movies (I was introduced for the first time to the whole King Arthur legend with movies such as Excalibur and Mists of Avalon), and books. Later on I also began a close study of Celtic history and searched for valuable websites about Celtic & Druidism.